Funny Things Crackheads Say

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Bucket list ideas need not be serious every time. Sometimes these ideas can be really weird or can be extremely funny. If you have a funny bone then you will end up creating a funny, crazy and cool bucket list items for sure. Check out some crazy bucket list ideas which you would definitely want to add in your bucket list. Explore 1000 Funny Quotes by authors including Groucho Marx, Will Rogers, and Steven Wright at BrainyQuote. Sorry to say, I’m not into you. Roses are red, Foxes are clever, I like your butt, Can I touch it forever? Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m unoriginal, This is all I can do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate poetry, But I’m into you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, You snore like a bear, But I’m still into you. A funny website filled with funny videos, pics, articles, and a whole bunch of other funny stuff. Cracked.com, celebrating 50 years of humor. ’80s hasbeen Corey Haim dated Victoria Beckham??? CLICK HERE to watch the most HIGHlarious interview he gave about their “relationship.”. A crackhead will steal your shit. A tweaker will steal your shit and help you look for it. A Crackhead an Alchoholic and a chain smoker all die in a car accident. When they reach the pearly gate St. Peter just looks at them and says 'not good gentlemen not good. Absolutely hillarious drug one-liners! The largest collection of drug one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 drug one liners.

Last Updated: 8th July 2020

Looking for a conservation opener on tinder? Hoping to make the girl of your dreams laugh? These hilarious pick up lines provide the helping hand you need.


  1. Are you French because Eiffel for you.
  2. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!
  3. Are you religious? Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.
  4. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
  5. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  6. What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
  7. Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
  8. I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
  9. I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
  10. If you were a steak you would be well done.

  11. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
  12. Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that.
  13. My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in.
  14. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
  15. There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
  16. If you were a library book, I would check you out.
  17. Are you a cat because I'm feline a connection between us
  18. If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  19. If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
  20. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  21. I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
  22. You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
  23. My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
  24. Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  25. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!
  26. Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaaaaaam!
  27. Life without you is like a broken pencil.. pointless.
  28. Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
  29. Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it!

  30. Even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.
  31. Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
  32. I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice
  33. We're not socks. But I think we'd make a great pair.
  34. Your lips look so lonely…Would they like to meet mine?
  35. Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.
  36. Thank god I'm wearing gloves because you are too hot to handle.
  37. If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
  38. I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
  39. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
  40. Pinch me, you’re so fine I must be dreaming.
  41. If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
  42. How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice!
  43. Are you a 90 degree angle? Cause you are looking right!
  44. Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are.. gorgeous!
  45. If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.
  46. Are you Israeli? Cause you Israeli hot.
  47. On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 9.. And I'm the 1 you need.
  48. Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
  49. If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.
  50. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.
  51. Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for.
  52. Your hand looks heavy. Here, let me hold it for you.
  53. I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look.
  54. Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte.
  55. Are you a banana because I find you a peeling.
  56. Do you like vegetables because I love you from my head tomatoes.
  57. Have you been to the doctor's lately? Cause I think you're lacking some vitamin me.
  58. Do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydro power? Because dammmm.
  59. Do you like science because I've got my ion you.
  60. Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

  61. Do you like sales? Because if you're looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.
  62. I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I think you're the gratest.
  63. If you were a triangle you'd be acute one.
  64. Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
  65. My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off.
  66. Wow, when god made you he was showing off.
  67. If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.
  68. Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection.
  69. If looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction.
  70. Do you have a tan, or do you always look this hot?
  71. Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  72. If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you.
  73. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  74. Are you from Japan cause I'm trying to get in Japanties.
  75. If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple.
  76. I'll give you a kiss. If you don't like it, you can return it.
  77. Did you swallow magnets? Cause you're attractive.
  78. Are you from China? Because I'm China get your number.
  79. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?
  80. Are you craving Pizza? Because I’d love to get a pizz-a you
  81. Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together.
  82. Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
  83. Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
  84. Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.
  85. You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart
  86. Can you pinch me, because you're so fine I must be dreaming.
  87. I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!
  88. Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
  89. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
  90. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
  91. If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
  92. Are you a keyboard ? Because you are my type.
  93. There is something wrong with my phone. Could you call it for me to see if it rings?
  94. I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

  95. If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together
  96. Did you hear of the new disease called beautiful, I think you're infected.
  97. I thought Happiness starts with H. But why does mine starts with U.
  98. If you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber.
  99. You know what you would really look beautiful in? My arms.
  100. My mom thinks I'm gay, can you help me prove her wrong?
  101. I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
  102. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  103. Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  104. Feel my t-shirt, it’s made of boyfriend material.
  105. You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  106. Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious.
  107. You're like a dictionary.. you add meaning to my life.
  108. My doctor says I'm lacking vitamin U.
  109. Did your licence get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

  110. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?
  111. When a penguin finds a mate they stay with them for the rest of their life. Will you be my penguin?
  112. Can I take a picture of you so santa knows what I want for christmas?
  113. I'm new in town, could you give me directions to your apartment?
  114. I'll cook you dinner, if you cook me breakfast
  115. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?
  116. Good thing I just bought term life insurance … because I saw you and my heart stopped!
  117. If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in a higher tax bracket.
  118. Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
  119. Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  120. You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.

Gran turismo 2 download. If these pick up lines didn't provide the funny introduction you planned perhaps you would be better off starting the conversation with some Dad Jokes or Funny poems?

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. Driverpack solution 17 iso download utorrent. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Smoking will kill you.. Bacon will kill you.. But, smoking bacon will cure it.

What do you call a dictionary on drugs? HIGH-Definition.

Sleep is my drug….my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.

Funny Things Crackheads Say Meme

Heard about the drug addict fisherman who accidentally caught a duck? Now he's hooked on the quack.

I know I know, smoking's bad for me and all. But, my mama told me never to be a quitter.

Funny Things Crackheads Say Dirty

I got a part in a movie called 'Cocaine'. I only have one line.

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.

Funny Things Crackheads Saying

You're so short when you smoke weed you don't get high.

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Funny Things Crackheads Say Funny

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